A Leap In Seattle
by Tiamat1
Summary: What if Sam Beckett leaped into Frasier Crane? Part work script of a cross-over I'd love to see.


This is my first crossover fan fic as well as TV script so hopefully it  
will raise a few laughs. As a show this part of the script would   
probably take up the first ten minutes so let me know if you like it   
via a review as I'm working on the rest of it.  
  
What if Sam Beckett leaped into Frasier Crane  
  
A Leap In Seattle  
  
Frasier Crane lies in the bath, wearing a green mud pack face mask and   
eye mask. Suddenly he is enveloped in a shimmering blue field and Sam   
Beckett has taken his place.  
Sam pulls the mask from his eyes and looks around him. He studies the   
bath and sniffs the scents in the steam and recoils slightly. A shaving  
mirror sits next to the tub and he picks it up and recoils again as he   
sees a green face looking back at him.  
  
SAM; Oh boy!  
  
Frasier Crane opens his eyes and looks around him, he is in the Imaging  
Chamber. Somewhat understandably confused he turns a full circle to   
take in his surroundings. He looks at himself and sees the white body   
suit.  
He recoils for a second and then looks again.  
He touches his firmer stomach and broader shoulders and smiles in that   
patented self congratulatory way.  
  
FRASIER (sounding very happy); Oooh boy!  
  
  
TITLES; THE FRASIER TITLE CARD ENVELOPED IN THE 'LEAPING' ELECTRIC HALO  
  
  
MARTIN is in his usual spot reading a football magazine and DAPHNE is   
trying to sort some photos on the glass dining table.  
  
FRASIER/SAM comes from the bathroom in his bathrobe and studies the   
balcony area as if for the first time, taking in the view and also   
trying to discover where and when he is.  
As he gazes out of the window Daphne looks up and frowns, Dr Crane is   
gazing out at Seattle with his hair sopping wet and only wearing his   
robe.  
  
DAPHNE; Did you enjoy your bath Dr Crane?  
  
SAM is lost for a second until he realises there are people in the room.  
  
SAM; Er... yes.  
  
Sam cinches his robe and Martin looks up from his magazine.  
  
MARTIN; Your hair's still wet. Well, what you have   
left, is still wet.  
  
Sam reaches up and smiles guiltily  
  
SAM; Yeah...  
  
EDDIE wanders in from the kitchen and up to Martins chair. He looks at   
Frasier / Sam and sits down, his head turns to one side and then the   
other. He approaches Sam and makes eye contact.  
  
SAM; Hey there, how ya doin...(Sam takes a   
second to make sure) boy  
  
Sam kneels down and Eddie rolls over to let Sam rub his stomach. Sam   
enjoys a few moments playing with Eddie whilst Martin nearly has a   
coronary and Daphne's brow creases even further. She shares a concerned  
look with Martin.  
  
MARTIN; You okay Frase?  
  
SAM; Sure. Why?  
  
MARTIN; No reason. I just thought that since   
Eddie ate your precious liverwurst you weren't speaking to him  
  
DAPHNE; As I recall you said you were   
going to have him stuffed, mounted and put on the top of the Space   
Needle. For starters.  
  
SAM; What? Just cause he ate some   
pate?  
  
Sam frowns... how did he know it was pate as opposed to liverwurst as   
Martin had said  
  
MARTIN;And that was before you found his little  
gift in the bathroom  
  
The Chamber Door slides open and AL walks through dressed in a three   
piece suit and holding his requisite cigar.  
  
SAM; Well...I guess I did over react  
a little  
  
He stands up but Eddie won't leave him alone and jumps up excitedly   
wanting to play more.  
  
SAM; I guess I better go get dressed   
  
Sam looks at Al and so does Eddie, who is overjoyed to see another new   
playmate and scampers over to AL and starts jumping up at him.  
Martin and Daphne see Eddie jumping up at nothing  
  
DAPHNE; Oh no he's seeing things again  
  
MARTIN; What do you mean again?  
DAPHNE; He does this. Last week I took him down to the park and he   
started jumping up at that man with the cart. It was really strange,   
it was if he was seeing things that weren't there. It took me all my   
strength to pull him away!  
  
MARTIN (affronted); He wasn't seeing things Manny, usually   
gives him free hot dogs.  
  
DAPHNE; Oh! I wondered why he kept   
throwing sausages at us.  
  
Sam takes a second to consider the interplay and walks back to 'his'   
bedroom. Eddie follows him happily.  
  
  
FRASIERS BEDROOM  
AL is already there and admiring the king size bed  
Sam enters closely followed by Eddie who leaps up on the bed and stares  
at Sam.  
  
AL (leeringly); Hey Sam, are these sheets real silk?  
  
SAM; Who am I, Al?  
  
AL: Apart from a dogs best friend?  
  
Al points to Sam's new pal  
  
AL; You are...(studies handlink)   
Doctor Frasier Crane. A radio psychologist living in Seattle.  
  
SAM; Radio?!?  
  
AL; Yep, you've got your own show.   
Five days a week.   
  
SAM; I can't do a radio show!   
(pause) Which days a week?  
  
AL (slaps handlink); Monday to Friday  
  
SAM: What day is this?  
  
AL; Monday  
  
SAM: Oh boy!  
  
Sam walks to the wardrobe and opens it. Nothing but suits can be seen.  
  
SAM: So why am I here?  
  
AL; Well, as far as Ziggy can tell  
...(hits handlink and it produces a mewling sound)... she can't tell.  
  
SAM; What!  
  
AL: Give her a break Sam, we're   
pretty close to being in the present here. Historical records are just  
that Sam. We're dealing with recent data here it'll take a fraction   
longer to pin point your mission  
  
Eddie is following Sam around the room and looking back at Al as he   
speaks. He sits down and stares at Al.  
  
SAM; How much longer?  
  
AL: You'd have to ask Ziggy. Hey   
there pooch. Hey Sam, who's your friend?  
  
Al speaks to Eddie and encourages him to jump up at him, only to fall   
right through him. Both think this is a great game.  
  
SAM: Erm... I think his names Teddie.  
Who are those people out there?  
  
AL (consulting handlink); Martin Crane, your father and   
Daphne Moon his physiotherapist. Your brother is infatuated with her   
and will use any excuse to drop in to see you to see her, if you get   
what I mean.  
  
SAM: My brother? What's his name?   
  
AL; Niles Crane. He's a   
psycho ...(SLAP)... chologist. He's a psychologist too.  
  
SAM: So why aren't they together   
if he's so interested in her?  
  
AL: He's still married to Maris...  
(Als eyes widen as he studies the screen on the link)  
  
SAM: What?  
  
AL: I've never seen this much data   
on one person. She's got more credit cards than Visa. (The handlink   
makes a weary noise) And her medical records have their own database.  
  
SAM: Is she ill?  
  
AL (leans closer to the link); I don't see how, she's had every   
treatment available to woman... and some to men as well!  
  
SAM: So. What am I here for?  
  
AL (still studying records): My God, I thought they only did  
that to animals!  
  
SAM: Al!  
  
AL: Huh? Oh, right. I'll have to   
get back to you on that. (Chamber door opens)Enjoy your show.  
  
SAM: Show!?  
  
AL; Yeah, you're on in an hour  
  
SAM; Oh.. (Chamber door drowns out   
the rest)  
  
  
  
IMAGING CHAMBER  
Frasier is admiring his new body and strutting around the chamber. He   
stops to look at his nails, frowns and polishes them against the body  
-suit as Al enters the room.  
  
FRASIER(haughtily); And you are?  
  
AL: Hi, I'm Al, I'll be your   
waiter for this evening  
  
FRASIER; Very droll, but this isn't   
any restaurant I'd frequent. Too minimalist. I know who you are.  
  
AL: Yeah?  
  
FRASIER; Oh yes. Here I am, relaxing   
in a bath, rosemary and cinnamon permeating my sinuses..  
  
AL: What is doing what?  
  
FRASIER;.. and suddenly I'm talking   
to a man in an empty room whilst I'm clothed in white and posses a   
younger, firmer (pauses self consciously)...er, slightly heavier body.  
  
AL: Only under different gravity!  
  
Frasier shuffles away awkwardly  
  
FRASIER; You, sir, are my subconscious.  
I've fallen asleep and now I've entered the calm place of my mind.   
The epicentre of my restful state. An analytical library where I can   
focus on nothing or everything. Isn't that so?  
  
AL (bluntly);No... yes...no...I'm sorry, you  
lost me somewhere after the centre business  
  
Frasier glares at Al  
  
FRASIER; Some Freudian guide you turned   
out to be   
  
AL: Whatever. I'll try to help you   
through this, but it's only because I like your dog  
  
FRASIER; MY dog? What are you talking   
about?  
  
AL: Teddie  
  
FRASIER; Ted?...EDDIE! That scavenging   
little cur? My dog? What kind of psyche do I have? I'd sooner bring   
one of Dad's VCR 'classics' in here with me than that insane flea circus!  
  
AL (quietly notes and punches into handlink): Not his dog...  
  
FRASIER; What are you doing?  
  
Frasier approaches Al as he drops the handlink down to his side.   
  
FRASIER; Are you making notes about me?   
Are you taking down everything I say? GOD!  
  
Al isn't quite sure what to make of Frasier as he stalks away to a   
corner  
  
FRASIER; I must be more complex than   
even I thought!  
  
Al screws his face up in disbelief and leaves.  
  
  
  
KACL-780 STUDIOS  
  
Sam wanders past the studio windows one way and then the other.  
ROZ watches him as he does this and finally opens the door to Frasier's  
booth as Sam makes a second pass  
.  
ROZ; Frasier! We're on in two minutes where  
have you been!  
  
SAM ( smiling awkwardly and clutching a briefcase); Oh, hi. Yeah, got   
kinda lost. Couldn't seem to find the studio  
  
ROZ (cautiously) You haven't taken too many flu   
drugs again have you? Are you feeling okay?  
  
SAM: No, I'm fine. Honestly  
  
ROZ: Then why are you wearing that   
tie?  
  
Sam flips the tie and frowns.  
  
ROZ: You said you couldn't think of   
anything ever tailored that would go with that tie.  
  
SAM: Well I changed my mind. I kinda  
like it now  
  
Roz smiles and touches Sam's arm.  
  
ROZ: I knew you'd see sense one day.   
Thanks Frase, that's cheered me up  
  
SAM: Why?  
  
ROZ: Cause I gave it to you numbskull.  
  
SAM (quickly covering); No, why does it make you happier   
today?  
  
ROZ; Oh, you know...  
  
Roz shrugs and dashes to her post. She points at Sam and the chair   
and slips on her headphones.  
  
SAM (gingerly slips on his own headphones and studies the equipment   
infront of him. Roz gives him a countdown from three and suddenly he   
is on air)  
  
SAM; Erm, hello Seattle, this is...  
  
Roz is frantically waving and signalling at him. Sam is lost.  
Roz mimes pushing a button and Sam's finger hovers over one as he looks  
at Roz. She nods and Sam stabs it. Immediately howling feedback fills  
the studio and Roz and Sam's headphones.  
  
SAM; AH!  
  
ROZ; AH!  
  
The feedback dies as Sam stabs another button and a caller is   
unceremoniously brought onto the air  
  
CALLER; Am I on? Hello? Is this thing   
on?  
  
SAM: Yes, hello, I'm here. How can  
I help you?  
  
CALLER; Who is this?  
  
SAM; Frasier Crane  
  
CALLER; Doctor Crane?  
  
SAM: Yeah, Doctor Crane  
  
CALLER; Aren't you going to say it?  
  
SAM: Sorry?  
  
CALLER; Don't I get to hear it? You got  
something against me? Is this what I get when I finally get up enough   
courage to speak to you?  
  
SAM: I'm sorry caller, can we start   
again. We seemed to get off on the wrong foot here  
  
Roz's eyes bug as she settles her headphones again  
  
CALLER; WHAT! You can't be serious.   
That's it, that is IT! I have taken about all I can take from you   
people, always making fun of me, talking BEHIND MY BACK, pointing at   
me WHEREVER I GO!   
  
SAM (taken aback); Can...can we start again here. What is   
your problem?  
  
CALLER; MY PROBLEM? MY PROBLEM? I have  
outsized feet on a small body, I have to have my shoes handmade. My   
doctor even says Ronald McDonald wouldn't wear my cast offs. But that   
isn't my biggest problem. My problem is that a dumb radio shrink is   
making fun of me when he won't even tell me 'he's listening'. You have   
some nerve doc, call yourself a healer? I've seen band-aids with more   
curative powers!   
  
Phone is slammed down noisily  
  
SAM;...  
  
Roz makes signal for a break  
  
SAM: Well I think now would be a   
good time to...take a moment...and  
  
Roz, frantic, even more definite motions for a break. Sam makes similar  
motions and Roz nods. Sam thinks she means to stretch things out  
  
SAM; ...see what we can look forward  
to...on   
  
Roz bangs on window  
  
SAM; ...the Frasier Crane Show...   
  
There is a sign held up saying 'commercial you di- the rest of the last  
words obscured by the frame of the window.   
  
SAM (speaking at a swifter pace); But first lets go to commercials  
  
He smiles and gives Roz the thumbs up. Roz is still frantic and making  
large arm movments. Sam looks behind him and sees the commercial   
cassette and pushes the play button.  
He gives Roz the thumbs up again and we only see his offended reaction.  
  
  
  



End file.
